About two months ago, I went to a hapé circle (pronounced “ha-peh”) and had another eye-opening experience. Hapé is sacred tobacco from South America. Shamans use it in ceremonial practices for medicinal purposes and to cleanse the body. It’s also called rapé and shamanic snuff.
I understand this Amazonian tobacco is much stronger than the tobacco in cigarettes. You also don’t smoke it. It’s ground into a fine powder with other natural and secret ingredients. The shaman uses a ceremonial pipe to blow the hapé into your nose cavity, one nostril at a time (starting at your left).
You can also use a smaller pipe called a kuripe to administer it to yourself. It connects from your mouth to your nose. You blow the medicine into each nostril, one at a time. I received hapé at my first ayahuasca ceremony and had a great experience.
Afterward, I purchased a kuripe and some shamanic snuff to take home. I like this plant medicine because it grounds me and gives me a sense of calm and clarity. There’s a slight buzz that lasts for about ten minutes, too. I’d been giving myself doses of hapé for a few months, so I was excited to join a circle and have it delivered to me by a shaman from Brazil.
From the start, a handful of things didn’t go as planned on the ceremony day. And when I arrived at the location, there were more people than anticipated. It was also in a small room. The different energies, the heat from their bodies, and not being mentally prepared for all of this made me anxious.
They were two men and one woman providing the medicine. The woman was the shaman’s wife, so I thought it would be best to receive it from her. I felt that a feminine touch could help ease my nerves. I waited in her line for about fifteen minutes.
The woman in front of me had difficulty getting up after she got the medicine. She sat there in a daze for minutes, which felt like hours. I stood and watched her sway back and forth while having my apprehension build. Something told me to get out of line, but I thought it was just my ego.
I ignored the voice, my palpitating heart, and my churning stomach. Finally, one of the guardians helped her up. I sat down quickly and asked for a small dose of hapé. The shaman’s wife nodded, blew into the pipe, and I saw stars!
It went directly up my nasal cavity. It felt like it cleared everything from my nose to my pineal gland. It took all my strength to raise the pipe to my right nostril. She blew again, and I immediately felt like I was going to pass out.
I quickly got up and prayed I could reach my seat without making a scene. I barely made it to my cushion without having to crawl. I could hear the room starting to freak out, one by one, as more people received. It was almost worse than my first two ayahuasca ceremonies because, at least there, I expected the freakouts.
You can hear everyone vomit in an ayahuasca ceremony, but you don’t care. You’re on your own journey. It’s usually at night, too, or they give you an eye mask to wear during a day ceremony (at least the one I went to). This hapé ceremony was like being in hell. You could hear and see everyone going through it while you were going through it.
I was like a wobble toy. I was so nauseous, and I was sweating profusely. At this point, I hadn’t thrown up in almost five years. I never threw up on ayahuasca, and I’d never, in my life, thrown up without crying before.
I opened my mouth like a puppet and let the puke pour inside the bucket. I didn’t dry heave, gag, or force it. It was more proof that ayahuasca cleared out all the blockages in my throat chakra https://esotericbrooke.com/yes-i-was-possessed/. I was finally allowed to purge through vomit, although I didn’t view it so optimistically then.
I was high and sick for almost two and a half hours. Hapé is usually a quick head change, and I asked for a small amount. That’s about the same time that one cup of ayahuasca lasts! Why did I purge so hard? Was I not doing a good enough job on my healing journey?
I thought about this on the way home. I also dropped my purse in the parking lot, so I had more time to ponder as I drove back two hours to retrieve my bag. Did I do something wrong? I felt like this, even though they say there’s no right or wrong in a quantum universe.
I concluded that I had this challenging experience with hapé because I didn’t respect it. The woman I purchased it from instructed me to build a relationship with it first, but I didn’t. I know everything has consciousness, so I knew what she meant, but I didn’t really get it until this trip. If it was healing and natural, I wanted it!
I was almost becoming obsessed with spiritual work and plant medicines. My intuition told me not to partake, but I ignored it. Maybe I was trying to punish myself still for everything I’d done in my past. Keep trying to heal so you’ll be “good” again.
It ended up being a great experience, though. The hapé cleansed my third eye and crown chakra. The sweating cleared my body of impurities, and I no longer fear throwing up. It also reminded me to listen and have respect for everything.
Now I don’t fixate on shadow work and “curing” myself. I also try my best to treat plant medicines like a friend. I talk to them, drive with them, and sleep with them. Building a relationship made all the difference when we took things to the next level.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed physician. Anything expressed in my videos, website, and all social media accounts is my personal opinion and should be viewed for entertainment purposes only.
