It All Started With Yoga Therapy

 Three years ago, I was physically and emotionally in the worst shape of my life. I was addicted to stimulants which allowed me to drink a lot without getting as drunk as I should’ve. The effects of partying so much for a couple of years (and every day for three months straight) caused a deteriorating immune system. I returned from a birthday party in Mexico and was sick for an entire month. 

 I could hardly keep alcohol down. It forced me to sober up for three weeks. It was probably the first time I didn’t drink for that long in over a decade. In that short time, I was able to process some heavy emotions I’d been avoiding.

 I also took my last antidepressant pill right before all of this happened. I’d spent the past year weaning myself off of Abilify, so it was great timing. I had to choose between undoing the past year’s work and refilling my prescription again or dealing with and feeling my emotions. Even my friends became an escape mechanism at this point, so I knew I shouldn’t hang out with them as much anymore.

 February 2019 was my official “tower moment.” All the ramifications of my partying came crashing down on me. I had to deal with the scathing pain of guilt, shame, and anger while sober and isolated. The only human contact I really had in March was at work.

 I thought about going back to a psychologist, but I didn’t want them to push antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication on me again. I also didn’t want to go through that grueling process of finding the “right” one. I was painfully sober, exhausted, and honestly wanted to die. However, I did have this one friend, whom I rarely hung out with, and she had just opened a yoga therapy studio.

 I was curious to know what yoga therapy was and if it could help me, even though I wasn’t into yoga. I was desperate and needed someone to talk to who wouldn’t just shove a drink in my face. She was also one of those girls I felt very comfortable with right from the start, which was rare for me then. I felt like I’d known her longer than just a decade.

 The only thing I remember from the first session was that I talked and cried a lot. She held space for me to vomit emotionally without any judgment or criticism. It was the first time I’d ever really felt heard without having to crack a joke and entertain someone.

 I knew it wouldn’t be all talk therapy, though. From there, she taught me various techniques such as stretching, breathing, somatic release, and feeling into my body. She performed reiki on me, and occasionally we would get into more esoteric topics like astrology and tarot. We also talked about alternative ways of healing and homeopathic medicines like aromatherapy and Ayurveda.

 One of the first ah-ha moments I had with her was when she asked me if I could feel my feet. I thought, of course, I can- I’m standing! She pulled out a wooden foot massage roller with acupressure nubs on it. She had me roll my feet back and forth on it for about a minute.

 Afterward, she asked me to bring my awareness back to my feet, and my eyes watered. She explained that I was so dissociated from my body that I hadn’t realized I’d lost feeling down there. Another time I talked to her about something that had just happened, and after I finished speaking, she asked me to lie down and place my hand over my heart. She guided me through alternate nostril breathing.

 She told me I was hyperventilating and wanted to calm me down. I didn’t even notice because, to me, that was just the way I talked. So I say it all started with yoga therapy because this decision led to my “spiritual awakening.” It created a ripple effect from communicating with the dead to giving up my last prescription medication, Adderall (see post- https://esotericbrooke.com/meet-your-new-friends-2/ ).

 From there, I decided to go vegetarian/vegan https://esotericbrooke.com/why-i-chose-to-go-vegetarian-vegan-2/. After that, I met the woman who introduced me to an Ayahuasca circle https://esotericbrooke.com/yes-i-was-possessed/. Right after, I lost my dead-end job and seventy pounds https://esotericbrooke.com/the-art-of-surrender-2/. Then I met the man who introduced me to Sananga https://esotericbrooke.com/six-months-of-sananga/. Now I can astral project and talk to extraterrestrials https://esotericbrooke.com/travelin-through-time-space/.

 The physical and emotional work I did in yoga therapy made me want to do even more at home. Instead of going out, I stayed in and studied. I listened to audibles on my forty-minute walk to the gym. An audible about the law of attraction led me to quantum physics. Then after that, metaphysics. It wasn’t that I magically became interested in all of these topics either. It was more about remembering what I was interested in before I started drinking and taking medication.

 As a kid, I was ridiculed by my family and people at school for liking “dark” things. After becoming a mom, I denied that part of me because that’s not what moms should be into. I’ve always been fascinated with witchcraft and space. So now, I choose to avoid “logical” people who want me to be “realistic.”

 Three years later, I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been. I enjoy learning because I’m studying topics I genuinely love. I’m not embarrassed for putting myself out there anymore because I know there is so much more than this. I’ve had so many incredible, sober experiences, and I want to share these stories because I know many others are going through (or have gone through) a similar journey. No, you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone!

 I still don’t practice traditional yoga, but everything my friend taught me in yoga therapy will stay with me forever. I’ve been asked why I take plant medicines that burn my eyeballs and make me throw up. It’s similar to how they say if you’ve got the acting bug, it never goes away. I got a taste of what’s on the other side of the moon, and I want more.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed physician. Anything expressed in my videos, website, and all social media accounts is my personal opinion and should be viewed for entertainment purposes only.